Is it friendship?
by DarkBard0
Summary: Shalimar confesses something on a team night out. Warning contains ff slash


Title - Is it friendship? Rating - PG-13 Pairing - Shalimar and Emma A/N - Just a night out I started writing that quickly flourished into a slash between Shalimar and Emma! I think they would've rocked! Disclaimer - I don't own anything of Mutant X! Feedback - Welcome  
  
Is it friendship?  
  
''Hey Shal.''  
  
Brennan chirped happily as he walked towards his friend with a couple of drinks in his hands. The tall, hansom Elemental looked great tonight. Wearing a pair of stylish patterned jeans, with a funky, white and grey top that he adored. Though, Shalimar always observed that Brennan looked good pretty much all of the time. He was one of those people. The guy could roll out of bed, slap on some pants and a shirt, and he would look good!  
That thought though, wasn't really on her mind right now. In fact, she hadn't even registered him yet. Instead, her eyes were strained towards the dance floor. From the high terrace the club had, she could see everything. The entrance, the bar, the seating downstairs, and the dance floor. Up here though, it was secluded, quiet, a little darker. For people who needed to be alone to talk, or just sit and think.  
  
''Shalimar?''  
  
Brennan called a little louder this time, over the music of the place. Frowning, he took in her posture. She held a rather unusual scowl. One he'd never seen on her. Her distant, brown eyes were narrowed slightly, definitely watching someone down there. Her blonde hair fell forwards slightly, but she didn't seem to notice that either.  
The Feral too, looked stunning. She'd decided to wear a long black skirt with a long slit up one of the sides. He'd seen her in it before, and it did do her justice. Along with that, she wore a strappy black top, the bottom of it cut into a triangle to expose her sides, and a small section of her stomach and back. The outfit certainly hadn't failed to impress a lot of guys in the club. But Brennan had watched her turn down every single one. Not even a dance or a drink.  
  
''Hey, Shal. You okay?''  
  
This time, as Brennan sat down across from her, he prodded her shoulder. Instantly he got a reaction. She looked around quickly; eyes returning to normal as she held a confused look over her face. As her senses hit back home, she realized someone had nudged her. Preparing to brush off another guy, she turned to instead see that it was Brennan. He looked at her with a concern in his eyes, something he'd always held for her. She'd noticed the different looks for different members of the team.  
  
''Ya, I'm fine. Sorry. Just thinking.''  
  
She smiled warmly towards him, and even though he knew that wasn't all of it, he felt easier and he smiled back charmingly. Pushing the drink over the table towards her, he let his smile turn into a grin.  
  
''Here you go!''  
  
He began to chirp again. She looked at the cocktail, interest swimming in her eyes. Then confusion again, as he began to get up.  
  
''Where you going?''  
  
She wondered. Brennan shrugged happily.  
  
''Oh you know, around! The drinks are from Emma though, she's nipped to the bathroom but she's coming to sit with you.''  
  
He explained. After that, Brennan turned to go. And as he said, Emma was making her way over to the table. She smiled at him sweetly as they passed, and then grinned at her blonde friend as she slipped into the chair he'd just vacated.  
  
''Hey. Having a good time? Up here? Alone?''  
  
Emma wondered, raising an eyebrow with an edge of sarcasm to her voice. Shalimar hesitated for a moment, uncertain of Emma's intentions. The Feral had been tiptoeing around the telempath for a few weeks now. Trying to train herself not to think about the frustration she'd been feeling lately. Constantly Emma had asked her if she'd needed to talk about anything, so she didn't know whether it was working or not. Emma was a highly sensitive person, with or without her ability.  
  
''Yeah, no guys following me around. You having a good time?''  
  
She asked breezily as she flicked her hand and looked back down to the dance floor. She smirked lightly as she saw Jesse dancing with a brunette he'd been meeting for a while now. He looked happy dancing with her. She was nice. A New Mutant too, so there was no need to hide every single detail about themselves from her. Made it that much easier for Jesse.  
  
''Do we have to do the small talk?''  
  
Shalimar whirled her head around at that, eyes widened in surprise. Emma only gave her a resolved look that told her she knew something was wrong as she tipped her head to the side. Shalimar sighed, slumping slightly before she took a drink.  
  
''Am I that obvious?''  
  
She grumbled unhappily. Emma smirked as she shook her head.  
  
''No. Not to anyone but me anyway. Why have you been avoiding me?''  
  
God, when did Emma start being so cut throat about her questions? Again, Shalimar just looked off towards the dance floor where Brennan had started dancing with the girl he'd been chatting up all night. She was into him, Shalimar could tell. She was pretty much an expert on body language, but the girl was playing coy with him. And he was loving it! Typical of Brennan!  
  
''I haven't been.''  
  
Shalimar responded finally. Emma just scoffed at her, running a hand through her now red hair. Shalimar liked the new look. No actually, she loved the new look. It really suited Emma. Showed her off even more. Not that she'd needed to change to be accepted as beautiful. She always had been. Tonight she looked in her prime. Wearing a tanned knee length skirt with a blue/purple shirt, short sleeved and low cut, that she'd nabbed from Shalimar's wardrobe earlier!  
  
''Do we remember who I am? Your best friend not to mention a telempath. Shalimar, all I've been sensing from you is frustration. Every time you look at me, you have this weird squiggle between your eyes.''  
  
Emma waved her hand between her own eyes and did the expression she'd seen on Shalimar for a while now as an example.  
  
''You've been turning around every time we're heading the same way. You keep turning down offers to hang out, meditate, dinner, god even training. I'm beginning to think its me.''  
  
She couldn't help but let her own frustration boil over into her ramble of a speech she'd managed to push out in one breath. A frown covered her own face now, and a slightly hurt and worried look glinted in her eyes, as well as spilled into her tone. Shalimar looked at her again, guilty for even getting Emma this worked up. Evidently, her plan had made things worse. Great. What was she supposed to do now?  
  
''Emma no, it's not you. I didn't mean to make you think that.''  
  
The sincerity in Shalimar's voice, her eyes, relieved Emma enough to let out a small sigh. Shalimar looked at the table for a moment. Her stomach was nearly in her mouth, her heart pounding like she was in a fight for her life. She still hadn't figured everything out in her head. Never mind talking to Emma about it. But she knew that's what Emma was after. And she knew she deserved the truth too.  
  
''Then what? I'm worried Shal. Because you normally talk to me. You know you can trust me, don't you?''  
  
Her question hung in the air like a knife ready to fall. Spoken with such a vulnerability and fear it almost reduced her to tears. Now Shalimar felt even guiltier. She'd never intended on Emma doubting that. She was a good friend. The best she could wish for actually.  
  
''I trust you Emma. Please don't doubt that.''  
  
She pleaded. Pushing her blonde hair out of the way to give Emma a begging look, she felt a decision being made in her. Whether it was the best or not, she made it.  
  
''Then why have you been avoiding me?''  
  
Emma demanded. She resisted the urge to stamp her foot for affect! Instead just chose to give Shalimar a half glare, simply because she'd never truly managed a full one at her!  
  
''Because.I didn't want you to read me. I mean, I know you don't go about reading us, but I know you can sense what we're feeling, and I know you can pick up other surface emotions. I was worried. That you'd sense that erm.that my feelings have shifted. That.that I'm attracted to someone in Mutant X. More than attracted actually.''  
  
She explained uneasily. Emma looked at her in surprise. So a little bit of her plan had worked! Leaning forwards, the redhead took a drink and then looked down on the dance floor. She narrowed her eyes a little, thinking about who it was.  
  
''Shal, you could've easily have said something. It's not like I was gunna run off and tell him.''  
  
Shalimar nearly dropped her jaw at that.  
  
''Tell who?''  
  
She demanded. Emma just grinned.  
  
''Jesse! You've been starring at him for ages!''  
  
She observed, pointing down to the dance floor. Shalimar shook her head so quickly that Emma expected it to fall off! As well as that the Feral shook her hands in the air for added affect.  
  
''No, no! God no! Jesse's like my brother!''  
  
She corrected. Damn! She'd gotten it wrong! But that left Brennan! In one way, Emma couldn't blame Shalimar for that. Brennan was cute, in a very manly way. She wouldn't have picked him out herself. Only the time that she did because she sensed he was special like her, back when they first met. But that had been pretence. On the other hand, she didn't know why Shalimar had picked Brennan. Not when there was already someone who liked her.  
  
''Okay, then that leaves Brennan. But you're gunna hafta go down there and stake your claim before that chick does!''  
  
She smiled affectionately. Shalimar just looked towards the table again.  
  
''It's not Brennan either.''  
  
She muttered. Emma dropped her jaw. No way! It couldn't possibly be!  
  
''But that only leaves Ad.''  
  
She didn't get any further as Shalimar looked up, focusing on her eyes intently.  
  
''You. It leaves you.''  
  
She'd come clean. No taking it back. No laughing it off. No forgetting about it. The stakes were even higher, considering that she'd never even told anyone from Mutant X that she'd had her fair share of boyfriends.along with her fair share of girlfriends too. She didn't even know why she hadn't told them. She didn't feel ashamed exactly. Not for the way she was. More the fact the way she acted with it. The self loathe she could feel in herself that drove her to do things with people that she knew she would be better off not doing. And now liking Emma. Her best friend. Her best, straight, friend. Who was so sweet, and innocent, and delightful and elegant. Why even if there was any chance that Emma could return her feelings, would she choose her? After the amount of ex's she'd piled up, because she couldn't stop herself from liking the pain they brought her?  
Emma stopped midway through her sentence. She didn't know what to say. Or what to think. But she did understand why Shalimar hadn't talked to her about it. It's not like it was the easiest thing to say. But it had been so unexpected. Her jaw dropped slightly, as she looked down with a frown across her face. Possibly not the best way to react. Looking so stricken. Shalimar made one swift movement to stand up and clear herself from the table. Grabbing her coat she took off quickly and was heading down the stairs by the time Emma had a chance to move again. Looking around, she was about to call her name but there was no point.  
  
''Shal? Where you going so fast?''  
  
Jesse wondered lightly as he crossed her path on the way to get drinks. Shalimar could see how much of a great time he was having. And how sweetly unaware he was of anything. She did love him like a brother. He'd been there for her so many times. Yet she'd left him in the dark too. Like all her friends.  
  
''I'm not feeling so hot Jess. I'm taking off. You guys stay here, have some fun. But if you need me, tell Brennan he'll know how to get hold of me the fastest. But not unless you have to okay?''  
  
Jesse frowned as concern washed over his features.  
  
''What? When did you start talking in riddles? I don't understand.''  
  
Shalimar just smiled with a nod.  
  
''I know you don't Jesse. Just go have some fun with Clara okay. Tell her I said I'll see her later.''  
  
After that, she walked around him and headed for the door. Looking at it for a moment, Jesse shook his head and continued on towards the bar. He didn't get her sometimes. Her reasoning, her mysteries. Especially not her brooding! But that's why he loved her.  
  
''Jess! Jesse.what did she just say to you?''  
  
Jesse had hardly made it to the bar before Emma screeched to a halt by his side, looking somewhat frantic!  
  
''Huh?''  
  
Was his best answer. Emma flailed at him desperately.  
  
''Shalimar. What did she say? Did she tell you where she was going?''  
  
She demanded. Jesse was getting the distinct feeling that something was going on! Must have been a girl thing, but considering Shalimar was speaking in riddles and Emma was flailing at him, it must have been serious.  
  
''Sorta. She said she wasn't feeling well and heading home. But if anything happened Brennan could get to her faster. But I don't know what she meant.''  
  
He told her what Shalimar had told him. Emma frowned as she began to turn around.  
  
''I do. It means she hasn't gone home at all. She's gone out on her own.''  
  
Jesse followed Emma through the crowds towards Brennan. He still didn't know what was going on, but it was enough for him that Emma was worried. The way the Feral had stalked out of here hadn't given him any good feelings about the situation either. And if she was upset, or in trouble, he wanted to be there to help her.  
  
''Shalimar's gone. Where?''  
  
Brennan turned around, the smile fading from his lips as he heard Emma's question. She stood before him, giving him a rather pleading look, with Jesse behind her, with a rather confused look.  
  
''Say what?''  
  
He asked to make sure he'd heard what he thought he'd heard.  
  
''Shal left, said you know where to find her before we did.''  
  
Jesse replied, shortening the version. Brennan frowned for a moment, thinking about what that meant. Then, it came to him. A conversation he'd had with her a couple of weeks ago. She'd said something about a club she liked to go to every now and again. She hated it but she still went there. When she was feeling low. Or when she was lonely. Or when the delightful jaws of feline chemistry was digging in.  
  
''A club, about seven blocks down from here. It's called Temple.''  
  
A thankful look washed over Emma immediately, and she began to turn to leave too.  
  
''Wait, we'll come with you.''  
  
Holding a finger out for a signal for them to wait, he turned towards the girl he was with and wrote down his number. She didn't look too impressed that he was leaving, but she was glad he'd given her his number. Then, Brennan took his coat and started to walk out with his friends.  
  
''Damn its cold out here. What's this all about anyways? Why'd she take off?''  
  
Brennan wondered as Emma waved for a taxi. She knew it wouldn't be that long if they walked, but she wanted to get there as soon as she could. She cursed herself for acting so stupidly. As if she'd taken Shalimar's truthful declaration and been offended by it. It wasn't bad shock that had hit her. It was good shock.  
  
''She told me something I reacted badly to. At least she thinks I did. I was just shocked, because I was pleased.''  
  
She told both of them as they got in. Jesse told the driver where they wanted to go, and he simply nodded and they began to set off.  
  
''So what was it?''  
  
He asked as he made himself comfortable in his seat. Emma sighed.  
  
''Well you're gunna find out anyway. I'm.a little both ways inclined, if you get my drift. So is she, as it turns out. She told me she likes me, and I sat there like a dumbass without saying anything looking like you two do now. She took off before I had the chance to tell her that I like her too.''  
  
Gazing at both of them, she saw why Shalimar had taken the look as something bad. But she knew they were just shocked. They were good guys, they could handle it. Just being told on the way to go find Shalimar that both of them liked each other was a little.rushed!  
  
''Oh.kay! Yeah, sounds like a dumbass thing to do! So let's find her!''  
  
Jesse finally said. Emma just smiled at him gratefully. She'd expected that from him. He was great at this stuff. The crunch time friend stuff! And considering he saw Shalimar as his big sister, it wasn't a jump of a conclusion that he'd deal with anything that came from her.  
  
''You do realize that I want protecting when she finds out I told you where she'd be right? That means you better sort things out and get her into bed so she doesn't think about it for a while! When she'll thank me instead of hitting me!''  
  
Brennan demanded. He received a light smack on his arm for that, along with a glare but not much of one! Though, Emma could express to them how relieved she was to hear them say that. Her worry had been exactly the same as Shalimar's. She'd had trouble with her friends in the past with it; no one wanted to be friends with a girl that could swing both ways it had seemed. Her female friends had been.uncomfortable around her, whilst her male friends had seemed to go into competition with her. It had been the only reason she hadn't mentioned anything to any of the group. Now though, she cursed herself for being such an idiot. These were her best friends, who she lived with. Who she fought with. They'd adapted to some of the most unusual circumstances that life could throw at them.  
  
''Thanks guys!''  
  
Smiling at them both in turn sweetfully and thankfully, they both just gave her an affectionate nudge. Big brothers, that's exactly what they were. The best in the world!  
  
''This is Temple.''  
  
The taxi driver stated as he slowed to stop before the club. Emma felt a pang of nerves start nibbling in her stomach. She'd been pushing back her own feelings for the blonde Feral for a while now, and in what almost seemed like a blink of an eye, things had turned around. Shalimar was accessible. And that gave Emma the jeebies! Because this was her best friend. This was the hottest woman she'd ever laid eyes on, the affectionate and crazy blonde she talked to every single day. Shalimar had chosen to befriend her, not out of necessity but choice. And she was accessible.  
  
''Em, you're kinda important in this scenario!''  
  
Jesse's teasing brought her back to reality, as she realized she was still sitting in the taxi, and the boys were both standing by the doorways waiting for her. Brennan had the biggest grin it was unbelievable, and Jesse wasn't far behind him. Apparently it had taken them a couple of minutes to decide that all this was a very good idea.  
  
''Smartass!''  
  
She breathed at him before pulling herself out of the taxi. She ran a hand through her hair anxiously, as they began walking to the entrance. Then, she opened her coat slightly, gazing at what she was wearing and pulling at her top a little. Then she went back to her hair.  
  
''Oh Emma, stop fussing! You look great!''  
  
Brennan flailed a hand towards her to get her to stop, laughing as he watched her fuss over herself like some kind of hyper bee! It was sweet! She looked at him apologetically as she let her hands drop by her sides.  
  
''Sorry, I'm just.nervous. And excited. And scared. What do I say? What do I do? I don't think I can do this now.''  
  
Brennan and Jesse looked from Emma to each other, and shrugged as they each clamped a hand onto her shoulder. She could hardly push back against them as they lead her forwards through the entrance and down the stairs of the club. The music already hit them hard. A heavy beat of some kind of gothic rock song vibrated into them, but they couldn't make it out well enough to know what it was. Brennan was almost impressed. A brooding, sexual club for a brooding and sexual Feral!  
  
''Three in please.''  
  
Jesse handed over the money for the cover charge to get into the club to the guy sitting behind the register, and he handed over three tickets that they'd probably shove in the bin as soon as they walked in there. Brennan pulled open the doors and now the club hit them full force. The heat was searing. It almost took Emma's breath away. She could sense such a range of emotions pouring out of this place. Anger, lust, confusion, excitement, misery, frenzy. But she had her own emotions to deal with, and forcefully she pushed the others from her mind to concentrate. She was here for Shalimar. The rush of nerves and excitement swept through her once again. And a smile graced her lips at the thought of the blonde. She was so.radiant. She was so much more than anyone knew, even herself.  
  
''You wanna split up? See if we can find her?''  
  
Jesse wondered as he looked around, slightly taken back by what he saw. He'd never been to a place like this. Not an alternative rock club. On both sides of the club, there were wide podiums, complete with poles too! And at the back there was a deep cut stage, and due to its emptiness right now, it was overcome with dancers. Or people just sitting and watching the display around them. And it was a display. There were couples all over, draping over one another at the seductive lure of the music, the heat pushing them to full force. His eyes caught two girls dancing around each other in the middle of the floor, rubbing up and down one another, driving each other into a sexual frenzy, giving each other a clear look of intense want and desire. They were hot, and he couldn't help but feel a pang of excitement through himself. Especially when their lips caught, and they began a strong fight for the rights of their mouths, tongues roaming every possible inch. This is where Shalimar came? He didn't know whether to be surprised or not. Shalimar was a very sensual person, he knew that. He knew that her experience was vast, even though she didn't talk about much of it until she had to. And he also knew that she was the kind of girl who could have anyone, at anytime. That was Shalimar. She knew herself, and she was confident with herself. She didn't go boasting it from the rooftops. But here, he'd never seen this side of her before.  
  
''Ya okay, I'll go this way.''  
  
Brennan muttered as he began to veer to his right. From the look in his eyes, he was generally thinking the same as Jesse. Although, he held more of a impressed and amused look in his chocolate eyes. This could be Shalimar all round really! It was fast, it was hot, it was loud, and it was real. And that was her. He'd been to a couple of places like this before himself. He liked the music when he was in the mood, and he'd had many conversations about bands and singers with the blonde before now after he'd caught her jumping around her room like a wild woman singing and playing an imaginary guitar to a band she was besotted with. Muse, she'd introduced him to their extremely brilliant albums in fact! An English band that deserved the recognition and praise for their music.  
  
''Okay, I'll just, wonder around myself.''  
  
Emma told herself in a low sigh as they both departed from her side to look for Shalimar. The atmosphere was beginning to get to her, the heat and the music. It was raw, and she wasn't as innocent as she made out to be. She could get this. Felt the lust and desire that went flushing through this place.  
  
Shalimar didn't think things could get much worse. She'd told Emma. Why had she been so stupid to do that? The look on her face, it had been gutting. She'd feared that. Woken up so many nights from dreams of telling Emma her real feelings, and now it had happened. She should have expected it. It'd happened before. You never ever fall for a straight girl; it's too much pain. That's what she'd told herself the last time. The only time she'd let herself slip like that. Until Emma had come into her life. But she hadn't been able to help herself. She adored the girl. So sweet and innocent, but not naïve and with her own amount of experience. The way she smiled, it could light up an entire room, or the way her eyes sparkled intelligently. She loved the sad noises she'd make at old romantic movies, and the way her eyes squinted just a little bit when she got tired, and the way she'd mix her cereals together if she couldn't choose between them. And her obsession with green apples! All the times she'd run around Sanctuary screaming when she was bored! Or when she'd curl up, and she'd play with her hair. It had all gotten to the Feral.  
But she couldn't help but come back to the question of why Emma would ever see anything in her anyway. Considering her experiences in the past. The people, the things she'd done. Shalimar knew she'd been no angel, and that was an understatement. She couldn't even remember the names or faces of a lot of the people she'd slept with, either out of lust, stupidity, drunkenness, revenge or pain. Her looks gave her a passport to people, which meant it wasn't that difficult to loose herself in actions she didn't like herself for. It was a curse sometimes.  
Shalimar flowed with the rhythm of the music. The raw beat that her body pulsated to. She was on fire. Bending, gliding, twisting, eyes were turned on her and some part of her loved it. The primal part of her. Another part of her hated it. But she loved the action she was caught up in, the only problem with her head; heart and stomach were screaming out that it was with the wrong person. Her hand was looped around a brunette's neck, pulling the woman in close. Her other arm, gliding over the woman's back, her side. She knew her. She'd been with her before. And they moved together so well. The heat coming from them both was immense, as their eyes mentally stripped each other as they burned a hole in the dance floor.  
  
''Though you were never doing this again?''  
  
The brunette asked slightly menacingly. Shalimar knew she was dangerous to her. Because she hated her. But it made everything a little bit more exciting. There was more passion, more lust. And no strings. But it could get addictive.  
  
''Rough night.''  
  
Shalimar responded abruptly. She wished with all her might it could be Emma here with her now. Holding onto her. But she wasn't. She was probably off freaking out somewhere, wondering what to say to her when they got back to Sanctuary. The easy let down and the 'this won't affect our friendship' speech. It would. Of course it would. Wouldn't it?  
  
''Oh, so I'm you're fix then am I?''  
  
The brunette bit, but a seductive smile still remained over her lips.  
  
''Shut up.''  
  
That was all Shalimar said before she leant in and kissed her. Passionately, forcefully. She was only here because she needed something, someone. She needed to forget. Sex was the easiest release. She was good at it, and an expert in forgetting things in it. So her mind shut off as their bodies still ground together as they fought for dominance in one another's mouths.  
  
Jesse sighed as he wondered over to Emma again. He'd searched one side of the club, brushing off a couple of girls, and a couple of guys, in the process! Reaching her, he saw that she'd had no look either. Her disappointed face rang out clear to him. Maybe Shalimar had really gone home? But then, what was with the cryptic? Why would she leave a clue about this place and not be here?  
  
''I don't know what to do Jesse. Maybe this just wasn't meant to happen.''  
  
Emma sighed, running a hand through her hair quickly, a fed up look coming over her face. Jesse rubbed her shoulder supportively, and she looked up to him for guidance.  
  
''Do you want to be with her?''  
  
He asked outright. Emma nodded.  
  
''Yes, more than anything. I can't get her out of my head. I think.I think I'm falling for her.''  
  
She responded and admitted. Jesse smiled lop sidedly, half out of pride and respect for his friend, and half out of knowing that he actually liked someone that was after Shalimar! He could be very.no wait, he was very weary of the guys that approached his 'big sister', but he knew Emma. He knew they'd fit, so unbelievably well. It was true that half an hour ago, he'd never thought such a notion was possible. But it was, and he knew it was right.  
  
''Then it's meant to happen. We'll find her Emma.''  
  
He reassured her. Emma pulled him in for a short, quick hug as she saw Brennan start to make his way over to them again. He was frowning to himself as he shrugged and let out a short sigh and turned his frown into an apologetic look.  
  
''I'm sorry Em, I didn't find her.''  
  
He said sincerely. Emma ran her hand over his arm in a thank you as she smirked at him. Her eyes flickered around the room one more time, in hopes Shalimar would just come strolling around the corner. But she didn't. Who knows where the Feral was. If Shalimar didn't want to be found, she wasn't found.  
  
''You never know, she might have gone home after all.''  
  
Jesse pointed out enthusiastically. As Emma dropped her jaw to respond, she narrowed her sparkling eyes slightly. She thought she'd seen something familiar in the mirror that the back wall held. Blonde, small, hot.yeah, it was Shalimar. Shalimar dancing very.Emma didn't want to finish off that sentence. Mainly because she could feel her own heart pushing its way up into her throat. Shalimar with another woman. The conflicting emotions rising up in her made her feel sick. Sick because she wanted to hit the brunette she was with, sick because she was angry at Shalimar, sick because she wanted her so much, and sick because she was seemingly that easy to get over. Obviously Shalimar was just making an observation about her. 'Like' seemed to mean something else to both of them.  
  
''Maybe. Let's just go.''  
  
She said eventually, regaining her senses. Her mind screamed at her, but she didn't know what it was saying. Just like the rest of her. Now she really was confused. She hadn't realized until tonight, just how badly she wanted Shalimar. The attraction had been there, but she'd dismissed it simply because they were best friends and there was no hope. Which had been fine. Anything was better than nothing. It wasn't like she went around perving on her, it was more an understanding with herself that she thought the blonde was beautiful, with many qualities to her, and that was it. But now, after she'd been told there was some kind of chance, she'd reacted badly and gotten the wrong idea. Maybe Shalimar had just been commenting that she thought she was pretty? Looks like.  
  
''And guys, not a word to Shal okay? I wanna think about some stuff.''  
  
She warned them seriously. Jesse gave her a confused look that was reflected by Brennan.  
  
''I thought you were gunna ask her out?''  
  
Brennan demanded. Emma shrugged lightly.  
  
''I just.I'm confused. Just give me some time to think.please?''  
  
She received two nods of promise before they started towards the door again. Glaring at the register man as he gave them an odd look because they were leaving so quickly, she began to climb the stairs. As the music got fainter, and the fresh air started to hit her, she began to feel like an idiot. Running after the blonde like that. She wasn't even in the same league. Emma didn't doubt herself; she had her own confidence, but to be put up to someone like Shalimar? No, then she doubted herself. Of course the Feral was going to go for someone a little older, with more experience and confidence. Someone who could possibly match the energy she had. Not her.  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
Shalimar poked her head around the corner she was ready to turn. Carefully and quietly she let her sense tell her that no one seemed to be about. She valued her Feral abilities right now, creeping into Sanctuary could be a job of work! She'd done it so many times in the past. But now she was nearly home free. Quickly side stepping across the hall, she reached out and grabbed her door handle and almost fell inside she wanted to be in there so badly. Slamming the door shut, not caring who heard now, she let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Screwing her eyes close tightly, she pushed away the urge to scream and shout and took a long breath back in. What the hell had she been thinking last night? Telling Emma? Storming into Temple? She knew what she was like when she got in that mood. She knew what was going to happen.  
  
''Well done Shal, you might have just managed to destroy a friendship and yourself in one night. Again!''  
  
The Feral scorned herself before she stormed off into the shower. She wished it could've washed the entire of last night away too. The total vulnerability, the look on Emma's face, the pain, the sex. But it wouldn't. She knew she'd have to go downstairs and make things better. Tell Emma she'd been a little drunk and that she only meant she thought she was attractive in a friendly kind of way and smooth over the cracks.  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
''Hey.look who's up finally!''  
  
Jesse cooed as he saw Shalimar strut into the rec. room. His wide and boyish grin and enthusiastic young eyes lifted her spirits immediately. In fact, she felt a smile of her own spread across her lips. Probably a goofy one like he was flashing at her right now! He was the cutest! Totally like her little brother! Stupid, funny, innocent and completely sweet! Still, he wasn't as innocent as he made out! But only Shalimar knew just how much!  
  
''Yeah yeah! You guys have a good time last night?''  
  
She wondered walking towards them. As she approached the grinning Jesse, she couldn't help the urge to ruffle up his hair some! Trying to swot away her hand Jesse just laughed and then began to straighten his fair hair out again. Brennan chucked with amusement in his voice, watching Jesse primp over his hair and then turning his attention back to Shalimar.  
  
''I got a girls number!''  
  
He beamed in response! Which told her he at least had a good time. Shalimar raised her impressed eyebrows and gave him a little well-done cheer with a high five to boot. He wasn't sure how he'd missed this side of her. Or maybe he hadn't. She'd silently told him before, lots of times. And he'd silently told her it was okay. They had an understanding like that. Probably because they were the oldest or something, he wasn't sure. What he was sure of, was that Shalimar was one of the coolest chicks he'd ever met. And they both knew that they both knew!  
  
''Great! And how's Clara?''  
  
Shalimar wondered looking at the now smooth haired Jesse! His eyes managed to sparkle even more than they usually did at the sound of her name! It was nice to see! At least the guys were having some luck in their love lives!  
  
''She's wonderful! Do you feel better? That must have been one hell of a long sleep you had!''  
  
He joked with a hint of serious concern behind it. Shalimar did her best not to grimace. Little did he know she'd only turned in an hour ago. Sleep? What sleep? Her usual stunt of hollow and shallow sex might have been a more apt description. It's not that she'd based her entire life around screwing up like that, but she hated it when she let herself give in to temptation. But couldn't change it either.  
  
''Ya, it was just what I needed.''  
  
She lied softly. Brennan stared at her for a moment, narrowing his eyes a little. He was far too observant. Like he knew something was going on. He did that. If the Feral hadn't known any better, she'd swear he had some of Emma's abilities in him!  
  
''I'm gunna work out okay? So I'll be at the dojo.''  
  
Quickly turning on her heals and skulking out, she didn't give either of them a chance to say anything in reply. Brennan watched her back until it vanished out of the door and then turned back towards his friend.  
  
''Was that Shal?''  
  
Brennan had opened his mouth to speak to Jesse until Emma had come into the room from the opposite door. Both of them jumped slightly, being caught off guard as the telempath walked through and demanded her question. She was holding two large mugs of something, and looked desperately towards the door Shalimar had left from.  
  
''Ya it was. Said she's gone to work out on the dojo.''  
  
Jesse replied helpfully. Emma simply nodded, and walked passed them distractedly. Time to sort things out.  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
''I don't wanna do this now.''  
  
Shalimar spoke with a clear firmness in her voice that warned Emma to back off. The redhead dropped her jaw, not even realizing she was so close to be noticed. But still, Shalimar was a Feral. She'd probably sensed her coming a mile off.  
  
''Shal, I haven't even said a word yet.''  
  
She began in her defence. Shalimar just landed another punch to the simulation she was fighting, not even looking towards her friend. Her frustration and anger were clearly obvious, and Emma didn't even need her abilities to get that.  
  
''And that's how it'll stay. Just forget about it.''  
  
The blonde ordered again. Emma set the mugs down on the stairs and started to move up them quickly.  
  
''And what if I don't wanna forget about it?''  
  
She demanded. Shalimar laughed almost bitterly, looking down and shaking her head. The simulation saw the opportunity to attack but she already knew it was. Without even looking, she fought him off until he was on the floor. And then disappeared, obviously beaten, Shalimar turned to look towards Emma.  
  
''Is this the part where you tell me our friendship isn't gunna change? That everything'll be fine because we're the best of friends and nothing will ever change that? Been there, done that.''  
  
She snapped, crossing her arms and scowling one of her best scowls towards the younger girl. Emma just walked up the last of the stairs, getting pissed off herself now. Shalimar did not give her a break did she?  
  
''Of course we're gunna change Shalimar. You told me you liked me last night. And by the way, I didn't appreciate the storming off part. Granted I sat there like a dumbass but you didn't give me a chance. It's not everyday someone I love turns around and says that to me. You could've given me a little adjustment time there.''  
  
Crossing her own arms, she reflected the scowl that the blonde had on her face. She'd spent the entire night awake thinking about all this. About the team, about Shalimar, about herself. About how all this, either way it turned out, would effect everyone. But mostly about how Shalimar was out there, with some other woman. And it bothered her. It bothered her so much that she'd nearly decided to let it lie. But she couldn't. Because it bothered her so much she was jealous, and she didn't want anyone else touching Shalimar but her. Evidently, the blonde had had an angsty path. Probably routed in a lot of sex too, but she could handle that. Whatever Shalimar had been through to make her the person she was now, she could handle it.  
  
''Oh you didn't need any time. The look on your face sure as hell told me that. You think I could stay to see my best goddamn friend look at me like that? Believe me Emma; I've been through that scenario. More than once. And I can't stand the righteous crap people come up with. I can't stand people giving me that look that you gave me last night that can't tolerate that I'm different. So I'm sorry, but I thought a little space was good right then.''  
  
Shalimar yelled back. Neither of them seemed to notice that the yelling had attracted the attention of not only Brennan and Jesse, but Adam too. He looked between the four of them, a raised eyebrow that was confused and expecting answers. Jesse just shook his head to signal him not to interrupt as Brennan watched the pair intensely. He didn't want any blood spilled here!  
  
''Excuse me? How the hell can you tell me you knew what I was thinking? And how dare you put me in the same category as all your other friends? This is me. I'm different too. I cannot believe you were so small minded enough to think that just because your bi sexual that I'd go screaming for the hills. That hurt Shalimar. You're supposed to know me. You're supposed to be my best friend too. You should've known I'd never pass judgment on you like that. Thanks a lot.''  
  
Adam looked towards the male members of the team again, a little shocked and bewildered still as to what was going on. What surprised him more was that neither of them seemed to be surprised by this. Seemed like he was a little left out of the loop at the moment.  
  
''And they were supposed to be my best friends who I knew Emma. Do you know what its like to be labelled a pervert by people who were supposed to stick by me? Do you know how many friends I lost to that? Your look just brought back those memories, so yes I put you in the same category. And I wish I'd never have said anything. Because look at us now. And it'll get worse, trust me on that.''  
  
Emma just laughed at the warning, making Shalimar glare at her even harder.  
  
''What's so funny?''  
  
She demanded. Emma just flailed her hands into the air.  
  
''This! You're not even willing to give me a chance are you? To find out if things would really change between us? You ever thought it might be better? That I might respect you for being so honest with me? For trusting me enough to tell me? You ever think that I might love you enough to not care? Or did you ever think for one second that I had that look on my face because I was shocked. Shocked because I was so dumbfounded that you could actually bring yourself to even like me like that?''  
  
She demanded. Shalimar changed her stance and narrowed her glare.  
  
''What're you saying here?''  
  
She wondered, her voice dropping to a rather softer one. A tiny spark of hope shot up through her. The look in Emma's face had changed too. A small smile running over her lips as she inched nearer.  
  
''That I went through exactly the same as you. Okay, maybe not as dark and twisty as your past, but generally the same! The only difference is you're the one who went off to brood, leaving me there trying to tell you that I feel the same way as you do. So let me say it now. You're an idiot Shalimar, but I still think you're the most beautiful, intoxicating, amazing woman I've ever met!''  
  
By now the pair were standing an inch apart. Brennan smirked slightly, then turned around and headed a reluctant Jesse and Adam out of the area. This part wasn't meant for them to see. They'd heard and seen enough, and at least they knew the girls weren't about to kill each other! If a big old row was what it took, then so be it. But something told him that Shalimar's sexual brooding days were over! And Emma would be having a lot more coffee in the mornings!  
Shalimar let Emma's words ring in her ears. She didn't get it! But the look on the redheads face was one of seriousness. She liked her! She actually liked her! Crap! No wonder she'd been so mad that she'd stalked off like that! Still, the way she looked now it was fastly becoming past. But it was taking a little to sink in.  
  
''Holy shit you're not joking are you?''  
  
Shalimar almost whispered. Emma shook her head lightly, just smiling as the same thing started to sink into her head too. This was it. This was the point that everything they'd wanted started to fall into place. Them. And it was better, because they knew each other. They were best friends. They were special. And they'd be together.  
  
''No, I'm not! And do you kiss your Momma with that mouth?''  
  
Emma joked softly. Shalimar smiled and shook her head.  
  
''No.but I'll kiss you with it!''  
  
Emma didn't stop her from closing the gap between them and giving her a soft, but firm kiss. Pulling back merely a centimetre or two, Shalimar felt Emma's hand on her cheek before the redhead kissed her back. It was like a dream, but so very real. The blonde looped an arm around the back of the telempath and pulled her closer, revelling in the joy of Emma wrapping her arms around her neck and pulling them closer still. Both enjoyed the sensation of each others weights, and the most incredible kiss they'd ever had. Something told both of them that they'd be okay! 


End file.
